A Grieving Mother’s Journal

How one grieving mother’s journey
through release, forgiveness, and
acceptance, can help you conquer
the greatest loss of all – that of a child.

About This Book

I have been asked what motivated and inspired me to write this Grieving Mother’s Journal.

Simply, it was the loss I experienced in my own life.

On June 19, 2002, my only son, Christopher Miles, transitioned peacefully in his sleep.

During the previous year, my 27-year marriage broke down. I walked away from my home, left my job, gave away all of my worldly possessions and undertook a five month journey of survival.

I called it My Journey of Joy for, at that point in my life, I didn’t believe it was possible to ever feel joy again. I was in search of the hope that somewhere, somehow, I would find the miracle of release. I just couldn’t accept that the pain, which seemed to be in total control of my life, was all that was left for me in this lifetime.

I traveled in my small RV, a BT Cruiser I christened “Joy”, across Canada and the US, meeting, talking with, and interviewing parents who had lost a child and were desperately searching for answers.

• How do they cope day-to-day with the loss?
• How do they get past the guilt, the anger, the denial, the pain, and the grief?
• Can a mother feel joy, happiness, and experience laughter without berating herself as a bad parent because you tell yourself only a bad, uncaring mother would do so?

I had no plan, no set route, and no expectations; just a desperate desire to embrace the hope of joy.

I was sure that if I was open to receive the truth that somehow I would return home a different person. And indeed I did.

I met and spoke with hundreds of grieving parents, but my greatest healing came during those silent moments of solitude when I poured my heart out onto the pages of my journal.

I found the answers, the release, and the joy from within.

I had journalled for years prior to the devastating loss of my son, but the writing that manifested on my Journey of Joy was beyond anything I had ever experienced. For the first time, I didn’t care whether I was journaling “right” or “wrong”. I just wrote.

I didn’t care whether it would be read and judged. I didn’t care about hiding my true feelings of anger, fear, denial, or regrets. I had nothing else to lose. I made a conscious choice to just open up my personal Pandora’s Box and expose the demons.

The miracle was that the more I wrote from the raw truth of my soul the better I felt.

It was a process; it wasn’t an instant miracle cure. It took time and a commitment to self to write everyday, whether I wanted to or not. I decided to face feelings I knew would surface; to face my fear.

If manifesting this love-filled Grieving Mother’s Journal empowers just one mother to move toward the joy and happiness that still waits for her, then my time was well spent.

Every one of us who have joined this least-sought-after “club” of Bereaved Parents is now a grief expert.

Know that all the answers you need are within you!

Right here, right now, I want you to know that you deserve to feel joy, hear laughter, and experience happiness again. And we all know that is what our child would want for us.

I invite you to take a trip through the pages of Release, Forgiveness, and Acceptance, knowing that you will be lighter when it is all said and done.

Debbie Long